I continued.   For the life of me, I really don't know how 1 was able to continue sparring, because it did hurt, and it hurt badly.   It was the kind of hurt that makes it hard for you to breathe, muchless move. But I did continue, with Mr. Haw's help, of course.

Knowing that he could read me like a book, I have no doubt that Mr. Haw knew it was much more than just a matter of working through the pain of getting hit between the legs. He knew that I was so afraid of getting hurt that I probably was going to get hurt unless I confronted that fear. It was a matter-a lesson-of overcoming fear and learning to exercise courage in the face of adversity.

It proved to be a defining moment for me-not so much in terms of self-defense but just in terms of self. In other words, my character.

There was also the time when Mr. Haw told me to use a small balloon to help perfect my punch. He told me to hang the balloon by a string at about face-level, and to begin punching it. That's all he said.

For literally months and months I kept trying to figure out what the heck I was supposed to be learning from punching a balloon that weighed no more than a few feathers.   After throwing countless thousands of punches at that blankety-blank balloon, I was still asking myself.   Is it supposed to help me learn how to shift my weight better? Is it somehow supposed to help me focus the energy of my punches better? Am I supposed to learn how to break the balloon with a single punch? Am I supposed to learn how to make it bob up and down-and not sway-like when punching a heavy bag correctly? And, finally, what is the deal with this stupid balloon?!

Mr. Haw never answered any of these questions for me.

He knew, of course, that eventually I would answer them all for myself. And when I finally did come up with some answers, I realized that his balloon idea was meant to correct a flaw in my character much more than one in my punch. Looking back, I appreciate now more than ever how Mr. Haw was helping me deal with an impatience and an attitude that said, "if I can understand it right away, then I can be good at it right away." That "stupid" balloon had taught me that if you want to become truly excellent at anything, then you must do it over and over again until it becomes second nature to you.

With many other lessons such as these, Mr. Haw taught me as much as anyone that personal character is where IT is at:

• That character is built more than built-in.

• That if you want to truly learn to master anything, you must first learn to master yourself.

• That when it comes to building good character----in or out of the competitive arena-there is simply no substitute for sweat, for hard work, for practice.

• That character is what you are when no one's looking.

• That character is what you are when everyone's 'looking.

• That Success or Excellence or Winning, whatever you want to call it, isn't about victories or defeats, it isn't about trophies, medals, or ribbons, it isn't about fame or fortune, and it isn't about statistics.

It's about what you are and what you do with what you are. Its about personal character.